The rain fell all around us, washing away all the rest of the world.  We stood together, yet as far apart as the stars.  I could tell she was hurting, that not all the water on her face was rain.

           She had been suffering for some time now, and I was unsure about what to do.  I had felt her pain, had felt each pang, ever action he had taken, and I couldn’t stand it any longer.   She faced away from me, two steps away.  So near I could see the tremble in her hands and arms, the way her whole body was shuddering with sobs.   It was easy to tell what she was doing, and while everyone else couldn’t figure it out, at least I knew what was really going on.

            Of course, it did help that I was in love with her.  I was a little biased in the way I looked at the things that happened to her.  So I saw the things that hurt her most.  The things that she wouldn’t let anyone else see, things they couldn’t know about, that they couldn’t tell were hurting her the most.

            The hard part is that the feeling is not mutual.  What she feels for me is merely platonic, the love that a sister feels for a brother, not the love of starcrossed lovers.  So while I understood her perfectly, she always thought that she wasn’t able to hide her emotions, something that she was actually extremely good at.

            So, here I was, standing two feet from her, watching, and listening as she cried.  Just looking at her makes me want to go hunting.  Searching for him, the man, no, the boy was had made her feel like this.  But I also knew that would do almost absolutely no good… in fact, it would only make things worse, since she actually thought she loved him, and that he loved her.

            But childhood infatuation is blinding, even more so than the love of adults, since it si typically not really love, but merely two young people making believe that they know what love really si.

            If it had been real love, he wouldn’t have gone off with that other girl, party or nor party.  And she would not have been standing where she was, crying over the fact that he had.

            And so we stood there, her crying, and me trying to watch the rain fall, and nor succeeding very well.

            There was nothing I could say to help ease her pain, so I didn’t even try.  I simply stepped up behind her, and put my hand lightly on her shoulder.  She jumped like a scared rabbit, and turned toward me, just as quickly.   She hadn’t realized that I was there.

            As she turned, she realized that it was me, and I could see the pain flashing in her eyes, as the tears flowed down her cheeks, mingling with the cold winter rain.  Still I did not attempt to speak.  I simply attempted to ease her pain the best way that I could.  I stretched out my arms, and wrapped them around her, pulling her tightly to me.   She buried her face in the crook of my neck and shoulder, and let it all out.

            And so we stood there for several minutes, her letting all the hurt out, and me attempting to sooth her the beast that I could, without crossing the line.  But then she pulled away, and looked at me, her tears slowing to a shuddering halt, and I knew that I could no longer keep myself on the “right” side of the line.

            She looked at me with those deep brown eyes, and I couldn’t take it any more.  I leaned forwarde, and my lips grazed her cheek, then landed fully on her lips.

            And that was how it came to be that I kissed her, and showed her what real love was.

            I only wish that it hadn’t been just a dream…

[ Back ] [ Up ]